The Parts in the Sum of the Whole
by liblueangel
Summary: Family pathologies, forbidden love, mistakes and intentional secrets... dividing everything that is right, a whole definition of normal, or what only seems to be. Starting under California's sun, a girl named Sonny steps into a whole new beginning of her life. [LGBT Content - don't like, don't read]
1. Chapter 1

"So here it is, welcome to the party." I followed my blonde friend AJ inside her huge house filled with bunch of loud, drunk people. We were passing them, going further inside, almost every guy greeting her with a kiss on a cheek, girls hugging and squealing hi. It made me feel uncomfortable. Them strangers dancing, rubbing one against another, cursing, drinking hard alcohol, although I'm pretty sure most of them are underage. This isn't my thing, partying. In such a vulgar way especially. No adults around giving them permission to do whatever. I can't say it isn't attracting in some way either, taking a bite of the forbidden apple. But I guess I wouldn't feel fine to flirt with someone I barely know nor furthermore, just like they do. "So I'll go say hi to a couple of people outside, you go check the place if you want to. Feel free to do whatever." Amanda tapped my shoulder and I nodded, well instructed. AJ is a shortcut of her full name just so you know. I am so going to skip the most crowded places. It's not that I am antisocial or anything, just not my type of a party and I seriously wouldn't appreciate to be disturbed by any drunk guy. If asked to name only one thing here, that I could honestly approve? I'd say music, enjoyable to my liking.

I took a walk around the back of that enormous house, inspecting anything I found interesting, which is a lot! Many fancy little stuff, doors and more doors. In my plan, I wasn't going to run through each room, peeking was enough satisfying option. The song playing at the moment captured my thoughts with its lyrics. Words started swimming through my mind,

Just wanna find you,

wanna find you

I know your love will set me free

Just wanna find you,

wanna find you

I need your love to believe.

It put me into a scavenger hunt mood, as message kind of paired with my actions, not literally though. I passed the stairs and went deeper into the empty hallway. There, another door on my way. I pushed the handle down and them lightly forward, welcoming dim light to my eyes, a different song to my ears. Something I'm familiar with, Whispering by Alex Clare. Music was softly echoing through the air, leading a figure... dancing in the brightest corner of this huge place - some sort of a dance studio I guess? Rare thing it is. I slid my head inside, intrigued by ongoing show and watched her travel across the dance floor. All these smooth jazz moves, beautifully expressing pain and anger, got me hooked. And that girl, especially her I found myself absorbed in. A girl with curly, medium length, blond hair, tied in a messy ponytail, taller than me, most likely because I'm pretty short. I entered fully, totally not bothering how rude this may be and so I leaned my back against the wall. She kept going, probably not aware that pair of eyes were following her every step. I was really enjoying how cool this choreography was done, polished in every detail. The girl seems to be well trained, with perfectly shaped body too. She herself seems perfect but as she stayed in motion, I couldn't capture her face in focus. Instead, my eyes were chasing after her wavy curls, how they were brushing across her face and flying the opposite ways she was moving. So oddly captivating. When the song's elision was hitting its end, she threw them down, signing the bent position she finished with. It felt like this hot, sensual, almost erotic performance has brought me into some sexy, psychological movie scene, which started meanly playing with my mentality. The skin on her arms was shining from sweat, reflecting that dim, warm glow... and eventually her face began to appear. Strands of hair slowly moving to sides of that- oh so beautiful face. I was standing there, staring, with my mouth slightly open. Unrealistic my mind whispered, whole her, that amazing creature. She is ideal! Or so I thought, until I connected my sight with hers. A powerful lightening-strike-alike feeling overpowered my whole body as it hit me, that this missing thing which of every human being is looking for, was right in front of me.

"Hey uhm can I help you?" My daydream was disturbed quickly, as I realized, she was aiming her attention at me, supporting her upper body against her knees. Crap! My presence has been exposed.

"No, I- I'm sorry? Don't bother yourself." I turned to the side, ready to leave but just then? She started slowly jogging toward me. Double crap!

"Wait! Is there a chance that I know you?" Her pleading, panting voice stopped me from escaping. It made me feel like she fought the lack of air in her lungs just so she could ask this question in time.

"No, I don't think so." I shook my head and smiled politely, pressing my lips into a tight line. Her eyes lit up immediately and a smile has been returned back to me. I don't know, it was so adorable, the face she made, as if I did something meaningful, something unspoken yet telling. My heartbeat quickened and I started growing nervous. This girl is intimidatingly pretty.

"Epic conversation." She snickered, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yes, like if we were a movie." Seriously? Why did I say that?

"Exactly." Her eyes dropped down while the chuckle she let out, caused a shiver to ran through my spine. Am I making it awkward? She is trying to make conversation and I just like can't communicate with her, because in my mind she is- Jesus Christ! You can't have a conversation with Jesus Christ, you just go speechless. No- erase that, my mind must've been injured I think. She's female, not anything other than my sex. She is my sex! Maybe I should just leave? But truthfully, I couldn't get more comfortable standing on the opposite of someone like her. The blonde goddess cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at me and also pointing a finger. "So how did you end up in here?"

"I was just exploring." I answered honestly, lowering my sight afterwards. I became a little ashamed of my flippancy, I wasn't in my own house, unlike her, I could tell.

"You must be AJ's new friend then." To my surprise, she seemed positive and well informed as well. I looked back up, crinkling my nose in disbelief. How does she know that?

"I guess yeah." Her eyebrows rose and she tapped the tip of her nose with her index finger, conspiratorially, very proud of herself. I couldn't help and let loose of a growing laughter. Smart! She bit on her bottom lip then, not moving her eyes off me. I locked that connection and quickly found myself sucking on my own lip, chewing angrily to hold on that breathtaking excitement. Our gazing was intense and my mind started whispering to me things I should be embarrassed of. The time slowed down. Felt like eternity in slow motion, until suddenly, my left arm was abruptly hit with door. I whined out of pain, automatically jumping away. What the hell!?

"Oh here you are, I've been looking for you everywhere." AJ's cloudy face appeared to us and it brought me back to earth again. Right! I totally forgot about her! But still, that pain! Seeing this situation, curly hair cutie immediately stepped in, touched my sore arm and protectively moved me aside. The feel of her skin on mine nearly knocked the breath right out of my chest, as all of a sudden, I experienced a tingly shudder flowing down my body. Well that's odd. What just happened? I watched her standing between me and AJ and just then, I realized how tall she really is! I'm guessing 5.8 feet ish? Comparing to my 5.3? Yeah. Wearing a black, loose, sideboob visible tank top on, which was teasing my eyes. How much I would want to learn what's hidden underneath, I thought... but that'd be weird right? Her back I was facing mostly but still, I could see the side of her face, which was turned to the other blonde leaned against the door frame.

"Are you guys having, like beer only?" She raised a suspicion and pierced her eyes at Amanda. Standing so close to me, that her heavenly scent reached my sense of smell. Every little thing accentuating her perfection, narcotizing whole me by the way.

"Of course, don't you worry, I've got everything under control." Tall girl then added crossed arms and oh-really glare confrontation.

"Right." Yeah, AJ didn't fool her and the movement she answered with, brought my attention back to her gorgeous curls. I ended up squeezing my hand into a fist, because something about them was making my palm all itchy. Believe it or not, I had my mind fogged with the idea of running my fingers through them, to try and feel them under my touch. My mind is sick!

"So, I see you met my sister." Buzzed blonde turned to me then, ignoring the hottie anyways. Wait. She's AJ's-

"Sister?" I snapped my eyes back to the tall one, same time as she choose to look at me over her shoulder. Her face flashed me that pretty smile again, causing my stomach to flutter so badly. Sisters, I could've seen this coming, obviously!

"Yeah Allison, this is my sister Alyson." AJ waved her hands through the air in an introducing manner. "Confusing huh?" That smile, it felt strangely pleasing, holding my cheek muscles in a horribly long lasting cramp.

"Just Aly." Aly, her voice sounds so enjoyable. So beautiful and same sexy.

"Sonny." I replied, scanning her features and saving them in my memory card. From up close I noticed the vintage beauty mark she has right beside her lips. And how amazingly remarkable her eyes are. In a shade of a light green, momentarily transparent even, simply everything when they connect with mine.

"Nobody told me there's a shortcut for your name." AJ mutter-complained, distancing her glassy glare away. Although it was funny I didn't get distracted from Aly who moved back to my right side, rolled her eyes and playfully shook her head on her sister's childish whine. She's like a work of art I can't look away from. A thing to admire.

"AJ babe? Are we playing hide and seek? Come and get out!" We heard some guy's singing voice calling in the hallway which made Amanda liven up like a kid in a toy store.

"I'll be right with you!" She answer-yelled back and one more time gave us her attention. "I have to get back there. You know, that impatience." She hissed playfully. "You going, staying?" Was that meant to me? I blinked rapidly, realizing that it of course was. I didn't have any answer prepared. I don't know? Yes? I may not? No, I'd rather stay? See what might happen- holy! Did I just think that?

"I-?" Words got stuck in my mouth, confused with my thinking marathon. It made her chuckle, very amused actually. What's so funny? And why am I losing control over myself?

"Watch over your guard around her then." I furrowed my brows.

"Why?"

"AJ!" Aly, the curly hair cutie growled annoyed, understanding her sister's overtone.

"She's homo, she may eat you like a cookie. Cause you're pretty." When I fully registered the entire statement, out of numbness I couldn't even tell of how much my face fell. She's- She's gay? And so pretty? Being pulled by super strong gravity, I fixed my eyes almost ninety degrees to my right, to her. My just created fantasy is slowly arising, when it should stay where it came into existence... and her looks ain't helping at all!

"AJ!" Aly raised her voice, checking on me carefully. Amanda only swayed in front of us, holding on the door frame still.

"What? That's a truth, my sis is a full faced lesbian and she hunts those sugar trains you're driving in." Hold it! Rewind it. Me pretty? And driving a what? What the hell does that even mean? "Aly look at her face!" They both observed my reaction, as I step by step was getting dizzier. What is happening! "I'm just kidding, she wouldn't hurt a fly." AJ snorted with laughter and next? Closed the door behind her, left, just like this. As dumbfounded as I was, I still managed to sneeringly mock her stupid heehaw but I was way too confused to put myself together. We were standing there in silence, me looking down at my feet, Aly probably feeling same uncomfortable. I honestly became insecure. Why on earth did I have to walk on a girl who happens to be a goddess! Who simply swept me off my feet! I'm a girl and I'm experiencing this unusual pull towards her which is indescribable. I mean, she's attractive as in there's-no-existence-of-a-word-that-would-enough-describe attractive and for God's sake! I'm straight! Which now feels like a lie... aren't I? Is this some sort of gay irresistibility those people have or what? I've spent here about ten minutes and for this very moment I know, I'm entirely trapped.

"Well that's it for introduction." I opened my once closed eyes again, woken up by that tone Aly used, subdued, daunted. I didn't mean to make her feel that way. My own personal issues caused this awkward silence, not any of those affective jokes Amanda made of us two.

"Wasn't that bad." I tried with a wrinkled nose smile, hoping my weak comforting skills will do the work.

"No, Not at all." The sarcasm, there, she needs a little more of convincing.

"Your dance moves said a lot by itself." I fully turned to her, putting my swag smirk on. Aly looked away and finally, in the corner of her lips the sun started coming out of clouds.

"Thanks, I guess." She moved her eyes back to mine and they were all sparkly, a huge, adorable grin emphasizing their loveliness. What is it about that smile that I can't look away? "How about you Sonny? You dance?" Oh? No I don't like where this is going.

"No, I suck really bad. I look better watching." I tried.

"You do okay but why not give it a try?" That intense, coquettish gaze she was giving me, as I read this right, for a brief moment almost persuaded me to answer the way she was hoping me to... but! I sobered, eventually saying what was right with me.

"No seriously, someone walking on me when my face hits the floor isn't a nice image."

"Here" Before I realized, before I managed to catch another chance to decline, she passed me and locked the door. "Problem solved. Now come on, I wanna see your moves." She didn't give me a single second for objection, as her hand slid into mine, forcing me to focus on my suddenly melting legs only. What is happening to me? Answers!

"Okay simply relax, we'll go slow." Aly was standing next to me and pointing to the mirror. The way she said it, I was blushing already, even before screwing the entire thing up. Dare you my dirty thoughts! "Relax. It's not like I have hidden cameras in here." Right. What? "Observe my reflection and whenever ready, follow." She began with the music and I did my part- which was noting of course. The tender sound of piano mixed up with flexible moves of hers, that movie thing happening agai- "Earth to you girl?" A sweet giggle buzzed through my head.

"Huh? Yeah okay." I whispered and turned myself into this dance. We did some parts together and I was trying to copy it the best I could. I must say I got hooked. I was enjoying it actually a lot but apparently not paying enough attention. Momentarily losing myself got me some trouble, as I mistakenly stepped the wrong way and bumped into her. Aly must've seen this coming and as prepared, she caught me by my arms, easing the impact. I still was going pretty fast though, so I crashed into her anyways. That feeling, I can't put it into words. Our bodies connected for the very first time and stayed that way, because I simply couldn't move away. It was stronger than me and froze me entirely. Instead to face her, I cowardly lowered my eyes, parking at her cleavage, holding myself steady by her waist still. She's so soft there, wow and that view in front of me? I'd sin regretting such stumbles. Aly leaned backwards, checking on me, making my situation potentially the worst ever. Her hips were pressing against mine in the process and my jaw dropped dead. Seriously, I had no control anymore.

"You okay?" Her hands sliding down a bit, eventually crossed my short sleeves and entered the exposed skin area.

"I uhm-" Shut down! I became speechless, mind locked. I was holding her and she was holding me, tenderly, her hands so warm, same way as her body radiating against mine. We were so close. She's a stranger yet my body's screaming with need to keep her exactly where she was.

"Sonny, you okay there?" Aly lowered herself to my face level, searching for my attention with these- beautiful- irises. I could feel her breath brushing my lips already. Those lips. No!

"I uh I'm-m sorry." I stuttered and stepped back, finally finding that power in me to escape.

"Are you kidding me? That was amazing!" She crossed her arms and with impression written in her expression, smiled broadly. My brows knitted as I got really confused at that point. She's talking about the dancing part right?

"I don't know if you've noticed but I just crushed into you."

"Yes you did but it also took you only a couple of minutes to master almost the whole thing. You've got skills."

"A memory."

"You know that's not just it." I know. This is so pathetic of me. I better let go.

"Thanks, I actually had a lot of fun. Comparing to that party, I guess" I pursed my lips, believing I should probably go back there as I was invited by Amanda in a first place. "Fuck." I turned my back to her and cursed so low only I could hear me.

"That's why I hide in here most of the time. AJ doesn't have normal friends, before even party begins, people are already wasted." Through the mirror I glanced at her again, realizing we both have that opinion in common.

"Join me then, you seem sober and actually normal." Aly was staring at my back, as my eyes had her as a target. Her enigmatic expression made me feel uncomfortable, then sick in the stomach even. Let her say something already!

"You're pretty normal yourself." But there's a but right? Visibly she was still searching through her mind, focusing her sight away and just when I was nervously panting already, her eyes met my reflection. "Yes, I'd like that." Really? "-but? I have to change first." Bubble of that rising tension burst finally, leaving me happy and dry.

"Right of course." I nodded rapidly, understanding what I'm supposed to do. "So I'm just gonna-" I gestured to the door, announcing that I'll wait elsewhere but once again, she didn't let me finish. Muting me entirely, she gently took my hand into hers, interlocking her fingers with mine.

"Come upstairs with me." All my ears registered was a seductive murmur which probably didn't even happen. My mind creates so many meanings of anything she does or says, too many wrong ideas of meanings, which eventually leads me to confusion, like this time.

"So where are you from Allison aka Sonny?" Aly opened her closet as I sat on the bed in front of her.

"Wisconsin." Her room in a deep, brick-red color painted, mixed with black accents every here and there. The entrance on the right from me, a big, dark brown closet with a pair of bifold door in front of the bed, as I already have mentioned. The bed covered with black sheets and lots of matching pillows, every little thing wearing a print of her fragrance.

"Cool I'm from Michigan, born in Germany originally." Aly briefly turned to me, in a mystery way rekindling the fire in my chest. How the hell is she so beautiful? I feel awkward with myself.

"Oh." She turned back away from me again and my eyes immediately glued to her palms, realizing what they were about to do. Its fingers hooked under the hem of her shirt and pulled it up. At that point I couldn't be any less discreet, as I wasn't even peaking. She was undressing on my eyes and I was following the show very carefully. Every single inch of her exposed skin, until that violet bra appeared to me. My mind was spinning, part of it rebelling against the concept of thinking of a woman in that way, but another part reveling in the excitement of the foreign and forbidden. I fucking don't understand anything anymore.

"Yeah, I was less than one year old when my parents moved to States and here Amanda was born. No other siblings from then on. When I was four and AJ two, we settled here." She suddenly turned to me fully and I snapped my head away so quickly, I'm surprised I didn't end up with whiplash.

"Like main story in one pill." I replied, still looking elsewhere. I should start blushing, maybe that would teach me a lesson! Catching my attention with her motion, Aly flashed to my left, stopping herself next to some other clothes she had laying on the armchair. The room wasn't messy as I may have pictured it. It was the exact opposite, clean and so comfy. I know that second thing doesn't have a thing to do with tidiness but I don't care. Aly rolled through a few t-shirts that didn't seem to fit her and threw them on the bed.

"What's your story Sonny?" My story? Okay. My main focus first. Don't look in her direction please.

"Well, I was born and raised in Wisconsin." I started, observing how her picking process was coming to an end. She pulled out another shirt from the very bottom of the pyramid of probably freshly washed clothes and decided to put it on.

"Any siblings?" Her hands stretched above her head, revealing that sexy sideboob in its fuller glory.

"No I'm the only child." I lowered my eyes quickly, both, running away from the dangerous view and summing how uninteresting my life is. I couldn't gather my thoughts into something cool to share with her, despite the fact of hard brainstorm going on. I missed anything she was doing in the meantime, still thinking and working this out, until the seat next to me wasn't empty anymore. I glanced over at her to learn, that my face was being scanned. That awkward silence...

"Are you okay?" Are my own thoughts so loud?

"Yes." I gritted my teeth nervously, waiting what else may surprise me. Aly nodded only and pushed herself up, moving back to the closet. I sighed relieved, placing my attention to what was happening in front. The picture started changing so fast, one thing, another and in a split second her leggings flew down her legs. It's like if she was doing it with purpose. Why not treat me with a stunt gun already? My damaged breathing became louder, when she reached for something to the upper shelf. That shirt lifted up a bit and I just then noticed those back dimples. This is like the hottest level of hotness! Aly slid her toned legs into a pair of black, ripped jeans then and pushed them up, turning back to me. "How old are you?" I asked, hardly turning my own attention from her physical side.

"I'm nineteen, how about you?" No. Nineteen?

"Uhm sixteen." Involuntarily, I pushed my eyes down, the angle letting me to only see how she stepped into her black, combat boots.

"Really?" Yeah just point it out already. I'm a kid for you. Damn this whole thing. "You don't seem to be at all." My sight as called, bounced back to her, me unbelievably stunned that she didn't rub it in. Isn't it a deal? What the hell? "So tell me now, what are you doing in California?" Is it some sort of an opposite day today? Aly grabbed her cargo jacket in both hands and sat next to me, awaiting the answer.

"School?"

"Which school?" A straight lip line was replaced with a sweet smile and I went on. No matter how irritating my short answers may be, she still keeps going. That trait saves my situation each time and I like it.

"Lincoln's Educational Facilities."

"What major?" Smile breaking into a soft grin.

"Music major." She's unbelievable. "I've got a scholarship." I whispered and her eyes widened.

"Wow, so you must be a geek." Oh now you're mocking me?

"I worked for this very hard." I announced very proudly.

"I bet. It's not easy to get there. They have the best schooling programs on this side of a country." Well informed, as usual.

"Yeah and the longest dorm awaiting lists." I whined.

"Doesn't scholarship provide a room?" Aly fixed herself then to face me better.

"No, not here. They offer many majors as well as courses for both high school and college classes, there's no place for dorms for so many... and I'm on a checklist."

"So where are you staying?" The ice has been broken and our conversation started floating freely in no time.

"A rental apartment in San Fernando area." Aly's eyes flickered between mine as she got a satisfying set of information about me. Should be my turn shouldn't? "I see you have plenty of music stuff around you." I decided to take a little tour around her bedroom. "Three guitars, piano" In which I am in love with. I ran my fingers along the instrument's keys. "Music sheets." I added up another related thing, moving closer to the window which was situated in the furthest corner from the entrance. "Looks like a big deal here." I turned back around to see her standing behind me.

"It's just a hobby." Alyson whispered, her fingers lightly creasing the sheets I mentioned before.

"You probably sing too?" Just-a-little hand gesture was the only answer I got and I couldn't help not to go on. "I'm not falling for that." Her eyes found my stare, that adamant face cracking up slowly, pointing out my obstinacy.

"Maybe I'll play for you someday." Okay two things forced my mouth to open when she spoke up, a someday involved and second, craftily skipped thing.

"I didn't ask about playing!" I followed all giggly girl outside her room then, leaving the topic closed inside.

I stepped off the last stair, diving into a crowd of people... again. I was washed back over with this uncomfortable feeling which blinded my attention and I immediately got lost. I pushed through a few guys but I couldn't spot her, neither any freer space to take a breath. The music changed into some dance rhythm of Sia's and my whole surrounding started jumping up and down. Move your body is just a lyric people, it's not a freaking concert! Like a huge unbreakable wall they were, impossible to pass. Shit. My defensiveness was to back up to the nearest wall wherever that could be. At that point I was scared, scared that I could get injured. They were too close, not paying any attention. Someone bounced at me, pushing me at someone else and then I was grabbed by my left arm. That's a jungle! I froze in panic, not caring that that hand was still on mine.

"Here you are." I heard and prayed it was meant to me. "Come on." My right palm was covered with warm hand from behind and it got safer immediately. I already knew it was her, though I couldn't turn around to confirm. It was too tight between those people. She pulled on my arm, leading me backwards. The space I was once occupying disappeared in a snap and each of my steps got faster as they started moving our way. When the situation reached its climax, I jumped out through the door way and some huge guy immediately blocked my vision.

"Holy shit!" I hissed, curling in between her arms. I entirely ignored the fact that we were outside already and that I was cuddling my back to her, totally blown away.

"Are you okay?" That angelic voice whispered to my ear and I sighed with relief.

"That was intense." I blurted out, straightening up.

"Yeah it's the music. I thought they'll crush you." Oh God, I thought same thing too, trust me. "Come on, let s sit down." I nodded weakly, taking the last look of that zoo.

"Where you and AJ know each other from?"

"Community service." I replied honestly but carelessly, instead focusing on everything that was around us. We were sitting in Aly's backyard, deeper on the white bench situated few meters away from the pool which was separating us from house. The animals were still partying hard and I could finally rest my eyes on something else, as they were far enough. Many shrubs and bushes lightened by cool white net lights surrounding that part of a garden, were creating very romantic scenario.

"Oh, so you're that bad ass!" Hmm? I got my mind back to her, summing this conversation together.

"No, I wouldn't say that." I blushed, apprehending Aly knows the dark side of my story. "We passed the speed limit way too much, it would be weird if they didn't pull us over." I corrected what she's just told me, trying to look the least rebel.

"But you pushed that cop." Dumbfounded, I faced her instantly. Why does she know that, it's totally out of context.

"He threw me off-balance with what he said to us." Alyson left it with an understanding pause and eventually nodded.

"Okay."

"I took it personally." As awkward as it got again, she pushed all that aside and continued.

"So you've learnt a little about each other then."

"Just a tiny bit I guess, it's been three weeks only." And AJ's rather observing me instead of talking.

"I bet, it's my sister's thing. Programmed not to bond or empathize." I smirked, finding it very adequate to reality. Sisters but both totally different. Aly seems to be very empathetic and politely absorbed into my story. This is very attractive I gotta admit. "Have anyone showed you around yet?"

"No not really, I don't know many people around here." A long unheard screams became louder, forcing our sight in its direction. A group of guys, with trapped girl on top of that human platform approached the pool, gaming to throw her in. Brainless idiots.

"You know me now." I snapped my thoughts back to Aly but still both we kept watching the show.

"Is this an offer?" More people ran out of the building and one after another started jumping into the water. Then some squealing barbies also.

"Maybe?" And some more of them and I got bored eventually, deciding to entirely focus on our conversation. "Damn someone please help me overpower this noise!" I giggled, admiring her cuteness. She's adorable. "Did AJ bring you over?"

"Yeah" I nodded, trying to spot the place she was looking at.

"I wouldn't count on the way back then." A helpful finger gesture directed my sight to no one else but Amanda... in the pool, having undeniably lots of fun. My expression fell, as I found myself totally stood up. "Don't worry Sonny, I'll drive you home." Aly bestowed me with a warm, protective offer, gaining even more trust points.

"Thank you." She's a life saver.

"No one has a problem that you're here this late hour?" Does she really, like truly care?

"I don't think so, my mom stayed in Wisconsin. She's an artist so she needs to be in her own four walls you know? She lives in a different world." A blindly, closed world where even I can't reach her.

"Anyone else?" I thought for a second, eventually coming to conclusion that she must've meant a possible second parent, as I didn't mention no one.

"No, it's just her. I don't have a father." Aly accepted that with another understanding nod, politely letting go to ask.

"So nobody's waiting for you right now?"

"Exactly." In seconds, my answer became incomplete to my own perception, as something else was knocking to the door. I narrowed my eyes curiously, finding suspiciousness in that returning question. "Why?"

"Do you have a couple of hours free maybe? Like any plans for tomorrow?" Tomorrow's Sunday right?

"Uhm no, I guess not." My forehead crinkled, following the thinking process.

"Okay come on then, I wanna show you something." Aly stood up, blocked my front view and held out a hand, sending me an encouraging look.

"Like now?" I spat, questioning credibility of my words same time, as I reached out for her.

"Yeah come on."

Aly took me to their garage, avoiding the crowd best she could. Holding my hand this entire time, so she wouldn't lose me out of sight again. I don't mind at all. I became comfortable with it. "AJ's seriously messing with neighbors again." She hissed cynically, pointing out a curfew hour. Seems like her sister's insuppressible. We entered the dark room, closing the door behind us. The loud party noise muffled immediately and I could again hear my own thoughts. "Wait, I need to find that switch." Aly mentioned, stepping away.

"Uhm by any chance, is it a rope pull?" I threw to the darkness.

"Yeah, did you find it already?"

"It's hanging right in front of my face." I pulled the twine down and there was light. Aly cracked, realizing it was indeed brushing my nose with its end. "Yeah" I added ironically and moved to the side. Beside Amanda's motorcycle, which I had opportunity to see before, there was a stunning, black, Chevrolet Camaro, probably forty years old version.

"Okay, hop in. When the door opens we can hit the road."

"That's your car?" I blurted out, not believing my eyes. It's a beautiful machine... and a beautiful person owns it? What spell did I say to get into this dream?

"Mhm, come on it's past midnight, I need to show you something." I've known her for, what, two hours? And everything she says I am ready to believe in and follow. That convincing her nature is. So I followed also this time. We got inside the car and soon set off.

Twenty minutes later we had Toluca Lake far behind but as I am not familiar with Los Angeles area, I had no idea where we were. Aly was driving quietly, leaving me with so many doubling questions. What might be the idea in her head?

Another few minutes has passed and the car slowed down, taking a turn towards a gas station afterwards.

"In case you need a toilet, just carry on. It'll take me a few to refuel." As she mentioned, a need appeared suddenly and I of course used that card. I got out of the car, immediately crushing into a cool breeze. Half an hour ago I saw people swimming in a pool and now it's cold all of a sudden? We were at the end of September and California weather for now seems tricky to me.

I took a short time in ladies room, cleverly quickening through the situation as the WC wasn't in a satisfying condition.

"I think I've been followed." I spoke up after returning, to get some of Aly's attention.

"Don't say?" As awaken as she got, I thought she'd be ready to beat up anyone who happens by. That's strange?

"Yea I wouldn't go there if I were you."

"I didn't think it through, otherwise I'd escort you." She replied, still busy with the car. In my eyes she seemed so protective, someone who makes you feel comfortably safe with. It must be her thing I guess. I'm surely not an exception.

I walked around the car, having another moment with this amazing vehicle again. I could imagine myself getting used to driving it every day. It would make a better of each. I eventually got back to where Aly was, finishing with lean against the hood. My eyes inspected the counter, wondering how long this may still take.

"What's the fuel consumption of this car?"

"Twenty-one liters." I snapped my eyes to her, calculating things in my head. "Why?" I then glanced down, noticing another suspicious thing.

"You refueled full seventy liters tank and a ten liters canister." Aly furrowed her brows at me, smirking smugly, probably coming to conclusion why such statement.

"Okay?" She still tried me though.

"That's for more than two hundred and thirty miles drive." I was given a short lasting impressed look only as she then turned away from me toward the building.

"You're a one short smartass you know?" I could hear before Aly's back disappeared inside. I don't like to be uninformed and here she'll totally ignore me. It was written in that glare.

"Where are we going?" I took yet another try and broke the dead silence that was lifting above our heads ever since we left the gas station.

"You'll see." That big secret, why is it such a big secret anyway?

"It seems like a long drive ahead." I decided to play oblivious, hoping she'd share some hints.

"But the place is totally worth it." Crap!

"Which is?" Don't you think I'll give up that easily.

"Why would I tell you and spoil all the fun?" Aly briefly flickered her eyes off the road to fully look back at me. "Take that scare off of your face please." The tone was highly bothered.

"I'm not scared." I stood still with my statement, though I was aware, deeper underneath I indeed was scared... just a little.

"Right." And apparently, same aware was she, at some point proving to me, that she might be able to read me better than I myself do.

"My flesh creeps every so often." Yeah, sometimes it's better to let go, especially when you already are at lost position.

"I'm not a rapist if that's what you're afraid of." I glanced over at her, to meet the honesty in her eyes.

"I believe you." I nodded. "I don't think the rapist would keep telling me they're not a rapist. They'd just rape me."

"Eventually" Aly whispered dramatically, trying to build that theatrical tension. I stayed my sight at her, imagining that possibility. The more I thought, the more I saw it unrealistic. It eventually led to a burst of laughter, as I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I'm sorry, I just can't picture that." As sarcastic as I was, she either way joined, finding it same amusing.

I checked my phone for time, after who knows how long drive. 2:11am it read, letting me know it's been about two hours. The vision behind the window wasn't clear, as it was drizzling. Still, I knew the darkness of night wouldn't uncover much. The most of what we've driven was through a highway and I didn't really pay attention but since Aly directed the car to an empty road, I again grew curious.

"You're not using GPA, you must know the path so well then. Or are going to pick a random place to do whatever." I mumbled out my thoughts, a bit tired to keep it in.

"I-" Aly started, having the answer at the tip of a tongue but again, realization pushed her guard up. "I see what you're doing there. You're trying to dangle inside information, get me talking. It's not gonna happen." That's funny how I have not even tried to do anything and almost succeeded with it.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Like liquid soap." Oh that's clever.

"Wow I should write this down."

"Damn it! I've missed another turn." Something other than the radio alarmed me to take a look in the driver's direction. I might have been tired but I kept Aly in check from time to time, just so she wouldn't fall asleep. Plus admiring her features.

"It's like the fifth one. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah I just get distracted that's all."

"That's a lot!" I chuckled sarcastically. "What distracts you to that point?"

"Nothing, can you pass me that Red Bull can? It's in the back." I did what she mentioned, following the instructions, extra opening it for her as a bonus.

"Thank you." I took a minute to observe her behavior then.

"You're sleepy." I summed, seeing how heavy her eyelids became.

"I'm fine." Aly tried to convince me, adding a smile for a better effect.

"Why are you distracted then." I pushed harder.

"Your presence."

"Aren't you used to drive with a passenger?" Is this even possible?

"It's not the thing."

"So what is?" Until now she should be already aware that I won't let go easily.

"It's just you-" Me? "-and that look you're giving me every so often. That distracts me." She started, pronouncing. "There! You see, stop doing that-" a dramatic wave of a hand filled the pause, "Face!" and she finally spat. I'm doing nothing wrong, she's just pleasing my eyes, that's all.

"It is distracting you?" I purposely started the game all over.

"Yeah."

"Maybe if you told me where-"

"Not a freaking chance." Damn!

Another hour I counted and noted a forest kind of area surrounding us for a longer period of time now.

"If you're sleepy you can nap." I yawned loudly, batting my lashes to somehow bring back the focus to my eyes.

"I'm good, I better check on you. After all, you're the one here driving and barely focusing."

"Ha ha, very nerdy observation, keep them coming." She gets adorable when you're pushing her buttons.

"Are you planning on murdering me and burying my dead body in this forest?"

"We'll see how the things go." The way she hooks into my every commentary. I can't get enough.

"Okay, I'm seriously looking forward to the future then."

"Hey." An angelic voice softly called out to me. It felt so peaceful with that silence and warmth hugging me from around. I was halfway sleeping, giving my eyes a break. "Open your eyes." No! Everything but not that. I stubbornly grimaced. Don't bring tension to my bubble please. "Come on." It whispered again, covering my forehead with Its tender touch. Oh that's much more convincing. I thought and lifted my eyelids up a bit. I was facing a huge tree, wide-huge. Holy hell! "You're back." I rolled my head to the left and in that darkness I felt Aly's presence.

"Where are we?" I whispered, still enjoying her hand on my head, sweetly stroking it with her thumb.

"At Sequoia." Those fingers gently moved into my hair and I breathed out any worry I ever had. I've never experienced such a good feeling. "The sun is awakening, do you wanna go see?" I gave a head nod as an answer, pushing forward a whole loads of following steps.

"You gotta stay close and keep quiet so we know there's no bear chasing us." Aly joked as we made an exit of the car on each of its side. I held my voice in, carefully moving towards her. "Here, wear this, it's chilly." My fingers inspected whatever I was given, finding it to be a nice, snuggly material. I pushed my bare arms inside the woolen cardigan sweater's sleeves and crossed them afterwards just so I could feel extra comfy. "Okay, let s go." Everywhere dark, though the sun was throwing some of Its beams here and there. The shadows of these big trees were the guilt. I was walking right after Aly as she knew where to lead. That sweater smells just like her. I smiled, hugging myself more into it. With each passed meter, it was getting warmer and brighter. We finally were stepping into the sunrise. "Here, hold my hand, it's gonna get slippery in places." I quickly accepted the idea, interlocking my fingers with hers. "Wow your hand's really cold." Aly stopped briefly, turning to me. Her palm immediately squeezed mine, stroking the uncovered skin with Its fingertips. "If you're cold tell me and we'll go straight back to the car."

"I'm good, really." Yeah, I was just a bit chilly but I now wanted to see what's at the end of that path. We moved forward again, leaving the trees to our backs as we stepped into a rocky edge. To my eyes appeared a view so breathtaking, I had to be held by someone anyways. The sky seemed entirely grey-blue but right with the horizon line, with very tops of sequoias, a hazy, yellow shade was setting in, parting the sky into two colors. A green valley from far, lightened by new morning. This entire beautiful landscape, I couldn't express the happiness it was causing. She was bringing. "It's like if we were at the end of the world." I whispered, cuddling my face against her arm.

"Hanging Rock leaves Its mark." She smiled with satisfaction, giving me some more time to live that moment. I watched, as the nature was coming back to life, ignoring the passing time. "Come on, let s take a seat." Aly nudged me lightly, just so I could catch up with the steps she had planned.

Some of that incredible time was behind us and I began noticing that Aly was getting more and more tired, fighting with attacking sleep. My reaction became necessary eventually as she's the driver.

"Aly, hey." It was already visible how her thinking abilities were damaged, as she didn't respond at sight. "You need some rest." I continued slowly, just so she fully caught up with what I was saying. "Come on, lay down." I ordered softly, not giving her a chance to disagree, as I reached for her arm, the one which was further away from me, to pull her over. There was no but, uncovering how much tired she really was.

Aly fell asleep in no time, giving me a chance to finally admire my surroundings without stressing out. Every single thing seemed so peaceful, yet full of life, beginning with her face. It was carrying a visible emotion of exhaustion and she was deeply dreaming. I have been gifted with so much of soothing harmony throughout that time, my past would never gather even a half of it. It gave me a reason to reevaluate life... I might actually need to rethink some aspects of my every day, gloomy adventure, because this amazing human here, is opening my eyes to a whole different side of world. Less scary and empty as it always seemed to be, more caring... loving.

Aly woke up after a short hour, becoming any more talkative. As the silence between us kept existing, I grew irritated with need of a topic.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I spat awkwardly, demanding the idea to leave my system.

"At the time no." Aly paused after, looking over at me. "Are you with someone at the moment?" I rapidly shook my head.

"Have you been with a girl before?" I oddly continued as my curiosity was poking my brain. She raised her brows and bit on her bottom lip.

"Yes, I have, have you?"

"Me? No." I defensively denied, blushing deep red. I didn't see it coming right back at me. I glanced at her over my shoulder carefully then. Her eyes were angled toward my direction, that smirk she was holding, drilling through my soul. The look she was giving me screamed, as if she knew what I was thinking. "Would you say more?" I tried.

"It was a mistake."

"Why? I thought you were-" I pushed deeper digging probably way too much.

"She- was a mistake. I apparently was a faze for her."

"Wow I feel bad for you."

"We lasted three months and she hooked up with some dude. She wasn't even bi as far as I'm concerned." Poor thing.

"Seems like you need someone anything else than one hundred percent straight as your next choice."

"Yeah." She chuckled. "If you have someone in mind ring my bell." I'll keep that in mind.

There another silent moment has come and I was left with my own thoughts. Thinking and thinking, I should say something, shouldn't I? I peered at Aly out of the corner of my eye and well? I still had nothing. She was playing with a strand of her hair that was loosely laying on her shoulder. I'm loving these hair. Why does she make me feel that way? It is so irritating. I looked down at my palms. Maybe? Just maybe. I'm not entirely straight? But how can you crack that shell open. There has to be some way right? My confidence started growing as I glanced over at her again. I may take a shot, what am I loosing?

"Can I ask you a personal question?" I started, not waiting any longer. Aly's eyes popped up at me immediately.

"Sure, what is it?" Here we go...

"I was just wondering-" oh God, can't she look away! A wave of heat flooded over my insides. I can't be facing her when saying this. There goes my confidence. My eyes escaped any place else than her direction and started wandering aimlessly. Just go ahead! My mind hissed through its teeth at me. "How? Or when did you realize that you're into- you know- the... you know-" Shit, what a burn. Now I surely sounded immature, as a kid I am to her. No!

"Girls?" Please just don't laugh.

"Yes girls." Briefly I checked on her reaction. She had her lips pursed, searching for the answer in her head. There was no single laugh line on her face. Does that mean I'm taken seriously?

"Well? I guess I never had this attraction toward opposite sex you know?" Easy for you, I seem like torn between two directions! That is even more confusing. "I was thirteen I think, when I started realizing that I see things differently. But I kept it to myself. World is cruel, people gets judgmental, I- my school had a past with bullying homosexual teens so I preferred on staying in a shadow." Oh that's so depressing I think.

"Didn't you tell anyone?"

"At that time? No."

"Who was your first trusted one." Aly remained quiet for a while. That expression she had written on her face, puzzling. I couldn't read it. She was looking down at her intertwined fingers, the corner of her lips slightly twitching. As if from some sort of nerve, as if she wanted to say something but her mind wasn't ready. I must've hit a wrong string with this question. She made it obvious, there was a secret buried underneath. I was ready and set to let it go but I couldn't find proper words to pass through the growing awkwardness... and as of a listened request, I heard a muffled sound of a thunder somewhere far from us. I was given a help to push this conversation forward. "This place is breathtaking." I started, watching the landscape covered in fog in front of me, secretly glancing over at Aly. She looked up and smiled so weakly you could barely notice.

"It's been some time since my last time here, I used to come here a lot."

"How did you find out about this place?"

"A friend brought me here... once- one time." She corrected herself. "It became some sort of a special place." And then again her eyes dropped. Is it my fault she keeps closing herself up? I think there's no other way than asking.

"What is it?" I whispered calmly.

"Nothing." She took a few before answering back. Why do I care so much?

"Hey." I turned to her more and waited until she looked up. These eyes making my heart skip a beat. "So they shared their spot with you, they must've been attached." She smiled, puckering her lips with a tight squeeze.

"Ricky. His name's Ricky. Yeah he was my best friend ever."

"Why aren't you coming back with him anymore."

"I uhm- heh." She stuttered, chuckling uncomfortably. "It's difficult? I mean ugh that involves a longer story I guess? I wouldn't wanna bore you or anything." She wanted to say it, I could tell. And I wanted to learn her more.

"I've got time. Plenty of it, counting all the time needed to get back." She watched me carefully, saving my words and when the process was done, she nodded quickly.

"I better start over." Her eyes lowered as she swallowed a dry throat. "So one day, about a year and a half ago I guess, I had this shitty, humiliating episode in my high school. Let's just say that my sexuality has been questioned by some shallow bitches who couldn't survive a day without making someone's life miserable. And so I became their next target. There- were like- so many versions of that stupid gossip they've created, spreading speed of light fast I can't even remember what it said at the start. But? As usual they succeeded, turned another person down." Bullying that is, been there. "It really gotten to me, no one knew what the truth about me was beside me and me only at that point." Four years she kept it a secret? "I couldn't deny the rumors and defend myself because it was against everything I was. I ended up crying in my bed for the rest of the day, each and another eventually. I had a hard time accepting the fact I'm different myself, not to mention facing the truth in front of others. That seemed like the end of the world to me. Ricky was my only best friend I had, I shared all the secrets with him beside that one fact. He was two years older and wasn't attending to that same school... but somehow he always knew when It was kicking me in the guts. That day he came by to cheer me up. He was aware I wouldn't let go of it so easily so he convinced me to go someplace else than school the next day. He stayed the night and in the morning brought me here. We talked about random stuff, I remember how he was always trying to make me laugh, like turning the simplest, smallest things into a comedy just to make me smile." Aly's poker face seemed to becoming weaker as she continued. "I kept on having my lows so we started on talking it through. Anything of our conversation doesn't matter much now... Ricky, he decided to finally level with me so that... in the middle of my babbling he kissed me." Oh wow! "I was so caught out of guard I didn't even react back and simply let him do this."

"Is that the reason you're not friends with him anymore?"

"No, I mean that thing had an impact on what was going to happen but still I would never want to lose him. Now I know that but then, when we parted I made it clear that he just ruined our friendship. I was harsh. I wasn't thinking, clearly!" The next thing Aly did was a sarcastic chuckle. "I don't know why I'm telling you this." She looked away and started whispering so I wouldn't hear. "I never talked about it with anybody."

"Maybe you needed to let it out off your chest?"

"To a random person." She snapped back, irritated with herself.

"I won't say a word if you're worrying."

"I uhm I'm sorry, it came out wrong." Her face turned back to me, full of sincere apology. "It's just that- ugh well? The thing is that I find you worth of my trust. That confuses me cause I barely know you." Really? That's exactly how I feel about you!

"Your secret is safe with me." I assured her as she pursed her lips.

"He told me he was in love with me. The only thing I've never expected him to say." Her expression saddened immediately. "Like if my face came in contact with a wall. I was a bitch to him before and I still went on." Aly sighed, battling with her thoughts. "My dumbest choice of defense was to confess I was not into him that way. That I am gay. I let him know I loved him of course, but on a brotherly level and that nothing would change me as I am." She was projecting so much pain I myself waned to pull her into a comforting hug. "His response was a nod, only. The guilt which it left, hunts me till these days. He never knew I was gay and I was giving him so many false hopes. At the end of that day, when he drove me home, I asked him to call me so we could talk whenever the tension burns down? He never called me back." Aly swallowed hardly. "Never- answered his phone. Or showed up at my door... ever again." Her eyes became glassy. "After the weekend, on the Monday morning... that was a really rainy and cold day-" her voice got shaky and that vein on the forehead appeared, as her blood pressure was visibly raising. "There was a phone call, from his mom- that he hang himself." She nodded, looking down, becoming silent. Shivers, cold-shower alike, clawed down my spine and I got speechless. That must've been devastating. The fact how she unconsciously crashed him? And how guilty that must make her. "It's not a scar yet. But I got passed it somehow." Aly turned to me and smiled. "I was born this way and I can't help that opposites collides with it. I may have made some bad choices in my life but If I was to advice something-" Whoa, did she just see through me? "Don't rush yourself. You can always talk to people but not everyone understands. Acceptance is an entirely personal process." I listened, enchanted with everything she was saying, not hiding behind that shame curtain anymore. "Personally, the acceptance stage took me the longest as it is still new to me sometimes. I've been at figuring myself out thing for that past six years but I'm more and more comfortable with it now. It gets easier."

"When the doubts between sides ends then?" I broke my silence, desperate of information.

"Sometimes those doubts aren't what they seem to be."

"What do you mean?"

"We might as well be attracted to both genders in different measure. There are very few people that are actually fifty/fifty. You can have different sexual orientation and romantic orientation too, be sexually attracted to both but just want a romantic relationship with one gender. Bisexuality isn't normally equal." So as I gather all this into one, a solid solution appears. I've always thought that I was straight but maybe I'm not.

"You seem sure about yourself, though."

"I'm just into the type of person that doesn't grow hair on their face." That statement made me snicker. How the hell does she do that.

"So you're not into labels?"

"No, and I think you shouldn't stress that much about it either. Don't make it your priority... to label yourself." Aly then flashed her million bucks worth smile at me, making me feel a little confused.

"What?"

"It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately. It's about who you fall in love with."

As I know much more about Alyson till now, I stopped finding momentarily silence uncomfortable. We spent some more time up there, until eventually weather started to change its mood.

"It's drizzling." I commented, covering myself more with her sweater.

"I think it's time when we back away. It's getting slippery." Aly checked the rocky ground underneath her and got alarmed. "Okay, yeah it already is!" It hit me just then that the more I tried to move up, the more I was sliding down.

"Holy shit!"

"Okay don't panic, just crawl backwards." Right! I looked up to realize, she was already in a save zone. How the hell! "Here, come on." Aly tried to reach to me without stepping into the wet slope I was at. It didn't work.

"Please do something, I'm going down!" I yelled, begging for mercy. Every now and then I was briefly glancing behind me, praying to see a way out of situation. Aly got on her knees, reached forward as much as possible and grabbed me under my arms.

"Slowly, very slowly, start crawling." She instructed, pulling me into her. Thank God for a sober thinking of at least one!

My feet reached the sand, where I could feel save again and I breathed out the heaviness off my back. "That was. Something."

"Look how the rain falls down, it seems so light. Flies down like feathers." I got lost in it with a snap, forgetting about the past danger it caused.

"This peak is magical. I learn it all over again every single time I get here."

"How often is it?" I directed my sight at her.

"Seven times or so." within a year? "I never had anyone to share it with me though." I all over again fell victim to her undeniably sincere stare.

"Thank you... for showing me." She sent me a warm smile and nodded slightly.

"Let's get back to the car."

It took us another four hours to get back home. I instructed Aly where I lived and was safely dropped there. I however was really worried, as the level of Aly's energy was dangerously low and she still had about twenty minutes of driving ahead.

"Here, I hope you enjoyed that little kidnapping." She managed to make a loose joke, though she was hardly reacting.

"I did incredibly a lot but I have a favor to ask you." I took out my phone and handed it to her. "Could you let me know when you get back home? If you arrived safely." She took her time to familiarize with the question, taking the cell from me eventually. I observed how carefully she swiped her finger through it, adding her number in. She then pressed the dialing button and a vibration of her ringing phone echoed through the air. As the three signals passed, Aly hung up and turned the menu back to the default screen. Before I was handed my phone over, the blonde took last look at it. The main picture I had set on, was of me and AJ on our bikes and that seemed to capture her attention. Her green eyes scanned it a few times and with the last check, her thumb covered her sister's par, leaving only me in a cropped photo. "I'll call you." She whispered softly, promising yet another, future one on one.


	2. Chapter 2

The weather's heavy again. Who would've thought to see it happening to California so often. Lately, that's all you can look for in the, so called, sunny paradise. When I first got to Los Angeles, people tended to be stunned when a single cloud found Its way to throw some more shadow. Entirely different thing with the wild side of area, there was always something bothering about the climate. I watched thick shower of dew pouring at the glass of the window, as I was with my own company. I think it's getting worse. The sough became momentarily louder, led by a gusty blast. It was a little hard to ignore the guy from removal company who, soaking wet, was unloading the car. Not a single soul but him, fighting with the obstacles on his way. I observed a little while until he disappeared inside the building. Again, I had nothing to lay my eyes at, to focus my mind with. A challenge to me, to find different object interesting. Due to this one returning thought. Why is life so unpredictable. Why things change when you least expect it. Or when you try your best to make them best, their own path surprises you at the end either way. One wrong decision and everything falls, crashing down. Why those things disappear. I wish there was a way of control over, at least those that we cherish the most. Only very few roll through my mind every single time I start over thinking my life. Those things made me the happiest... freedom and love I once had. I now barely can feel anything as I'm not happy anymore. A small, yet existing still hope whispers to me every now and then though, that this book isn't entirely at Its ending as eventually, everything gets better at some point. Do I believe in that? I want to-

"Here you go miss Munroe, this is the last box." I heard, seeing in my doorway that guy in wet, yellow T-shirt as he finally trudged himself to the third floor.

"Thank you, just put it- anywhere, it doesn't really matter." I smiled politely, showing him an empty space wherever. He gave me an understanding nod whereupon he placed the carton next to the others and left the room. I waited a few seconds in place, glancing at unclosed door. Any noises other than rain, still knocking to my windowpane has been still surrounding me. I'd freeze it like that, an enjoyable sound. I couldn't bear the thought that something else could possibly bother my ears now and realizing that, I pushed myself toward the entrance to close those door shut.

I walked around yet another place I have to get familiar with. I know its gonna be tough to put myself into this. I am scatterbrained lately. Nothing I find easy to learn. If I could simply just go on a 2 months winter sleep, that'd be great... but it's spring already. I leaned in to one of the boxes on my way, deciding it needs to be unpacked. I peeled off the tape which was protecting the opening and pulled the flaps out. Of course, that's the one with glassy things, I missed the warning sign. I'm pretty focused I must say, seriously. I sneered sarcastically at my distraction and proceeded. The first thing at the top was covered with a bubble wrap for extra amortization. I took it out and placed it elsewhere, freeing my hands to get back to the mirror. Where do I put it? I looked around, carrying the item already in my palms. Must be the hook somewhere. I pushed myself up and followed my legs. That paint color is ugly by the way, so- lilac. Where's the life in it? Did ghost throw up on these walls? I scowled, walking them around. It's pointless. I thought and stopped in place. If I just looked closely... I narrowed my eyes, zooming in the area it'd fit best. Right at- There it is! I approached the place before I could lose that tiny little nail and I began hanging. At least that I have done. I scanned the paper covered glass, reminding myself it needs to go off too. I grabbed one of its ends and pulled on it. With a second, it fell down, revealing my own reflection to me. My, just so renewed enthusiasm burned out immediately as my sight travelled around the image. It remained unclear if that was just distorted face reflected in that mirror or the face itself. I stepped closer to get a better look. My usually brown eyes were dimmed by hazy shadow, that glow I so had got lost, leaving a cloudy piece of them only. Redness covering the parts where they should be white. Doleful and tired, without a single spark of life. I had a visible line under, drawing a heavy bags. That I never had before. My cheeks became slightly hollow, as if I was dealing with some physical illness. Lips perfectly outlined but dried though. Skin turned pale, highlighting all the freckles I had around my face. My black hair were flat, making me look like a mess, a wreck of a person. I looked weary, with an absent mind. That's what this city does to you if you stop paying attention. I turned away, disgusted with myself but one thing was still idling in my mind. I was facing a better light, standing straight to the window. I swallowed the emotional pain away and lowered my eyes. Slowly, I hooked my fingers under the hem of my T-shirt and slightly pulled on it. A bit of skin has been revealed, making me wonder... has this really gotten so bad? I gritted my teeth and pulled the material more until I could fully judge. My stomach seemed even flatter it has ever been. And those ribs. That's sick! I look sick! Depressed mind isn't enough? How I struggle with emotions can't be the limit? I covered myself and moved to the bed. I took a seat and again looked around. I'm a mess and this place isn't any better. There has to be some way... so I can put myself together. I need to stay focused, to keep up with school, to keep this place. I've been awaiting for this dorm for almost two years, sent back from list to list. If I didn't high up my grades to maximum I probably wouldn't get in here till graduation. There's a hundreds of students hunting for this room and the very least has the opportunity, really. There's just one building for everyone, high school and college students. A hotel kind of thing that doesn't draw age or gender apportionment. So it is indeed a privilege. A cold shiver flew down my spine as probably the upshot of the chilliness I'm experiencing ever since I've stopped moving around. That's really distracting, knowing that my damp shirt has partly glued itself to my shoulders. A reasonably thinking person would do something about it. I inspected the boxes in front of me with my eyes and pushed myself up afterwards. Which ones I packed with clothes? I unwrapped the first choice of mind and started digging through it. So where was I? Right. Living in a campus, close to the institutional buildings as well as to many others including libraries, lecture halls, student centers or dining halls is indeed a thing to people. In the very centre of a social land especially. I clenched my fingers around the thick cloth I reached to with my sense of touch and pulled it outside. To my eyes appeared a piece of clothing I so wanted to find. An oversized pullover sweatshirt, navy blue colored. My favorite, so called 'borrowed' thing. Originally it wasn't that big on its owner as it is on me... and that's the magic of it. I tore off that still unpleasant material of my body and slid my bare arms inside the large sleeves. My motion drastically slowed down within the finishing step. As I got my head inside, I couldn't help not to let in that nostalgic feeling again. An emotion that follows behind me, whenever I smell that familiar scent. Like a tattoo hidden under clothes, it's always somewhere there. I pushed my head fully through and fixed myself with it then. The hem stretched down the half way of my thighs length and my palms disappeared fully inside. I crawled back on the bed, leaving yet a bigger mess on the floor and I situated myself between the pillows. I need to stay in this dorm, till the very end of my educational process best. I'm an individual that isn't falling for all those things I've mentioned before. I seek for Independence so I learn how to take care of myself... on my own. The thing my mother has never learnt. I cuddled my whole body to the sweatshirt, diving deeper in. It was making me feel safer. That scent I used to hug my full self into. A few tears of weakness rolled down my cheeks as that heavy feeling crashed my chest again. I so incredibly miss that presence... replacing the loneliness that follows behind me whole my life. I became reticent within past few weeks, as I've really got nobody to talk to anymore. I've pushed away, not that obviously rare contact with my closest ones as I grew antisocial.

I cleared my face, distracted with noises from behind the wall. I listened closely, summing that must be some students down the hallway. I myself was hiding in no people zone in the old apartment but this place is about an entirely different thing. I won't have a life if stay locked up in this room. I will have to get out there. The good thing is that spring break just ended and there's only two months left until holiday... so it might be manageable to handle both grades and cotenants. I reassured myself, finding then, that all the noises stopped... the rain, the talking. I didn't realize until just now that silence slid its way back in, screaming probably too loud at me. I took a few more seconds awaiting for anything to hear and my expectations has been answered... with the first knock to my door.


	3. Chapter 3

What- was that my phone? I froze in the middle of a walk, trying to mute in my head that annoying lady from the speaker. Yeah, sounds just like my ringtone. I dove two fingers inside the pocket of my jeans and pulled out that small vibrating device.

"Hello?" I answered within the last signal, not paying any attention to the caller's id.

"Hi Sonny?" I turned my ear better, finding that voice familiar. "It's Aly, AJ's sister?"

"Yes!" I once enlightened, was flooded with colossal enthusiasm. "Hi what's up?"

"Hi, I was wondering if you're by any chance free at the moment?"

"Uhm..." I looked around me, contriving how to make the truth sound not rejective. "I'm at the grocery store right now but! I can be free in... let's say an hour?" I impatiently waited through the pause, hoping my suggestion would be accepted.

"Sounds great." That tension let go of my chest finally and I proceeded to walk forward. "Listen Sonny, there's this thing." A thing? A thing is never a good thing. I slowed down, recognizing some sort of apprehension in her tone.

"Something happened right?" Lots of uhms and different delays arrived before the actual answer, confirming my beliefs.

"I shut myself inside the pantry... and the following problem is that I'm claustrophobic." I fully stopped, introductorily imagining myself in same position.

"How long have you been there?" I tried, that anxiety slowly fulfilling my mind.

"Almost three hours and right about now- I'm going nuts! I tried calling everyone but no one really cares." Her voice got all shaky within seconds. As if she was about to break down.

"Aly listen!" I stepped into her monolog quickly, willing to turn the situation over. "I will need about 30 minutes to get there, can you wait that long?"

"You're a life saver." The way she must've felt, that fear... it begged me to do everything in my power to help her.

"Just hang in there."

I keep having that weird guilt kind of feeling as I retrospect my conversation with Aly... actually, the last part of it. That must've seemed so rude of me to hung up on her like that... but I needed a transport to get in here- and she doesn't know that, obviously! I continued arguing internally with myself as the drive was coming to an end. I lost track of time with that childish distraction I just had. I paid the taxi driver the charge and started toward the front door of the building in hurry. I practically flew to them to then find them locked. Crap! Another obstacle! I rolled my phone out again and dialed Aly's number.

"Aly," I started calmly. "How do I get inside the house? The door is locked." I pressed on the handle a few times more to reassure my assumption. Yep it's closed.

"Sonny! The key! uhm it's above the door, on that small ledge." I looked up, following the instructions. Right above the frame, right where she described, there was a narrow space, drew back between the bricks. "Will you reach to it?" Aly whispered aware, same way I was, that it might be too high for my short body. I have to get up there somehow anyways. I lifted my arm possibly the highest it could reach but- an inch more! No, that won't work. I sighed, slightly resigned, observing still that space. Wait- what if I hang myself on it? I immediately positioned myself and jumped up afterwards. My palms hooked themselves inside and I was there! Holy shit! I weigh a bit. Due to that I didn't waste more time and my fingers started searching. Soon I clawed them around the flat metal and I could freely go down.

"Barely" I smiled to the phone, opening the door. "OK I am inside, which room are you in?"

"Down the hall, third door on the left." I stepped inside the house I've been in almost a week ago and it was quiet. No sign of any party that took place in here. I moved forward, passing the kitchen on my right and living room on my left, the stairs deeper in the hallway and all these rooms I used to explore.

"Okay hello?" I 'marco' spoke up to the walls, awaiting the 'polo' to direct me.

"In here." Aly banged at the door on her side a few times in answer.

"How can I get you out?" I jerked its handle, realizing it is not how I will succeed. "I think the key's needed, where do I find it?" I screamed to the woody wall that was separating us.

"Listen it should be in the kitchen, in first or second drawer." I nodded, turning myself into a scavenger hunt mood again.

"Okay."

About three to five minutes and digging through a whole lot of small stuff later I had the prize in my hand. I proudly got back to the cell Aly has been closed in and I quietly unlocked the shut door. I carefully pushed it open and met a blind darkness. Holy hell! My eyes widened as I was just now introduced with the reality she's been facing. My mouth opened as I was about to say something and within same time, Aly flew outside, wrapping her arms around me. I was slightly pushed backwards when her whole self grabbed me. My reactions became withheld because what was happening got me paralyzed. Aly cuddled herself even closer to me, melting my insides and I just then got back to the living.

"You're trembling." I whispered, gently placing my hands on her middle back. I imagined fear but not that big. I hugged her tightly then just so she could feel safer.

"Thank you." A breathed out air shaped into silent words as she snuggled her face in the crook of my neck.

"If needed, I would force these doors to let you out." I mumbled against her tall shoulder, relaxed, with my eyes closed, enjoying her scent in my lungs. Aly chuckled still nervously but much more relieved, not letting go of me even a bit.

When I was having a moment with Alyson, someone subtly cleared their throat and that got me thinking. It wasn't her cause I'd notice so... who else-

"Am I disturbing something?" We parted from each other like burned. I moved my sight same direction she did to meet with a tall, handsome man in a black suit. "Seems like I wasn't needed here at all. You managed to find a way out." I furrowed my brows, reading his face. Those features seemed so familiar...

"Dad?" Dad? I turned back to Aly who looked dumbfounded with his presence. Of course dad. "What are you doing here?" The man ignored his daughter's question, positioning his eyes on me.

"And who's this young lady." I momentarily froze, becoming a target of his intimidation.

"I'm Sonny." I stuttered the words out, feeling awkward as hell.

"Well, the fact you disturbed your schedule to come, here." He pronounced. "says a lot good about you." Is he being polite to me? Or is there a double meaning. I sensed a tension in the air.

"It's really not a big of a deal." I tried my best to sound convincing so no one had second thoughts about it. I wanted to come here.

"Still." He looked over at Aly turning back to me eventually. "It was nice meeting you Sonny, I have to go back to work." There, he was gone, as fast as he showed up. That was kind of disturbing though. He didn't even ask if Aly's fine. Does he even know she's claustrophobic?

I kept thinking about it, how he ignored Aly and how Aly wasn't into the conversation me and her dad had either. Speaking of which, I looked over my shoulder to find nothing in my sight level. I turned around fully and just then spotted Aly, sitting on the floor, leaned against the wall with her knees pressed to her chest. She was looking away, panting and clearly trying to cover it up.

"Hey," I crotched down in front of her curled up body, laying my hands on her knees. "Are you okay?"

"Yea" she whispered low, closing her eyes shut.

"You're not okay. It's an anxiety attack isn't it?" I protectively rubbed my hands up and down through the outer sides of her calves.

"It'll go away soon." If she can't fool me, why is she trying to fool herself.

"Even if, sitting here and waiting it will be hell." She didn't respond so I carefully reached for her face. I took her cheek in my fingers and pulled her toward my direction. Once she was facing me, her eyes lifted up a bit. "Come on, let's get you some fresh air."

I walked Aly to the backyard through the kitchen entrance, which I only once used before. In mind I had this same white bench her and me were sitting on the night we met, but as we stepped outside, the bright day let me see a lot more of her garden. Deeper into the area, further than our previous rest, I spotted way more peaceful place to be. And I knew there will be our destination. With my arm around Aly's waist, I walked us toward two pretty short trees, leaned one's crown into the other, both together twined, creating shelter from rain or too much sun. Whole way I held her close but still she kept her eyes down at her feet. Yea, I was concerned. "Take a seat" I asked, mentioning to the grass in the shadow between picked out trees. She did but remained silent. "Hey" I hesitantly, gently removed a strand of hair off her face and her eyes pushed open. "Feeling any better?" I let the small piece loosely fall down with the gravity pull, admiring those gorgeous curls.

"Thank you" I then moved my sight back to hers to give my full attention. A weak smile appeared along her pretty lip line and I sighed happily.

"My pleasure." I felt the wind, blowing softly through my hair as we stayed our eyes on each other. I could smell her too, surrounding my air. I took a breath and held it deep inside as I breathed her in. I was feeling more alive with her and I could just let go of anything. To lose my mind with her. Her. face- carrying that odd frown.

"Is it- your phone vibrating in your pants?" My- I transferred my attention to that spot. Phone!

"Yes! My phone. Excuse me for a second." I marked with my index finger and then followed with the call. "Hello?" I turned my back to Aly so I wouldn't get distracted. I get distracted very easily when she's near. "No I'll be late- yeah I'm sorry- I had something important to do- okay- okay bye." I hung up then and stayed in same place, searching through the phone.

"I took you away from your things." She used that guilty tone and my focus drivers gathered all together again, ready for a face off.

"I don't mind really." I reassured Aly for another time, hoping we all will finally get over with it.

"Is there anything I can do to repay you?" Might have an idea. I smirked her way, connecting with her pleading, still beautiful eyes.

"You can drive me back to that grocery store, I have a thing to finish."

"I'm back!" I announced loudly, kicking the door wide open for Aly behind me. I checked the grocery shopping out of my to do list with a little help of my new, best friend and was free with the rest of the evening. We stepped in and I turned back to close the door.

"Oh what- you shouldn't have used your friend to do things for you." My aunt made an obvious "motherly' comment as she appeared out of nowhere and then proceeded to make a scene. "Here honey, give me some." Her hands reached for the bags Aly was carrying, almost as if she wanted to attack her.

"It's okay, I owe Sonny." Aly tried, reassuring, it is not a big thing for her but aunt's impudence forced her to obey eventually.

"Doesn't change a thing, it's impolite." She turned to me, clearly sending me her opinion and then disappeared in a kitchen. Why am I always the guilty part? Aly glanced over at me holding a smiley what-the-hell-just-happened look on her pretty face. I shrugged carelessly as I knew that's just the beginning. "So what's your name sweetheart?" We both heard not yet seeing her back.

"Alyson, Aly in short." Aly introduced herself to the air as I begin placing the bags on the table so I wouldn't have to leave her alone.

"I'm Gail, Sonny's aunt." Aunt stepped back in to the room and enthusiastically grabbed Aly's hand to shake it. I sat on the couch's arm, observing from the side. Aly's first reaction was a slight O shaped open mouth face as she probably thought Gail's my mother.

"Pleasure to meet you." She then plastered on her courteous smile, buying us all.

"She's a very nice girl, I like her." Aunt made yet another embarrassing comment and I had to step in... you know, before I burn from the inside.

"Please can you not?"

"Oh stop whining." She playfully grew irritated and an awkward silence became afterwards. Aly pursed her lips, lowering her eyes to the floor and I couldn't freely admire her because my a bit annoying relative was watching me. "What are you standing like that, show your friend your room, I'll make you girls something to drink." We focused our attentions back to the talking source and I noticed Aly turned defensive.

"No really, It's okay, I don't wanna bother you." I shook my head no cause there's no way her presence can bother me and my aunt, of course excluded such idea immediately.

"No I don't wanna hear any of that, just go." Thanks, at least once on my side. I sighed relieved and then mentioned the way to my bedroom.

"Come on."

"I love this place, so dark... moody... perfect place to just go away to." I watched how Aly was exploring my room, carefully inspecting my personal stuff. How focused she was with it. "Your aunt seems cool." A sudden change of a topic distracted me a little as she came up with it out of the blue.

"She's a very loving person but- I wouldn't call her cool you know." I crinkled my nose on that disturbing idea of her trying to act all cool that I just had. "That's weird." I continued, shaking off the feeling as I took a seat on the edge of my bed. Aly kept looking around, though there wasn't much to find interesting. Beginning on the left, I had a white, round lounge chair with tons of pillows on it. Further, there was a deep brown desk with some matching colored shelves above, filled with the things Aly was so captivated in.

"Keep going, I am listening." She turned briefly to me throwing her attention back. So she wasn't absent this entire time. I could've sworn.

"Gail is my God mother. She is the original owner of this apartment, so it's like, her second home."

"It seemed to me, that you were staying here-"

"Alone?" Aly nodded, walking away from the first wall. Further there was a bathroom door, more to the right, a hammock chair and then my black, acoustic guitar leaned against yet an empty, purple wall. I once heard, minimization is a kind of style too. "I do, she's just visiting with her son. They used to live here when he was a kid."

"How old is he now?" She passed through the center of the room and sat next to me, holding something hidden in her palm.

"Jake's like, what- 30?" I answered yet still focusing my eyes on that object. It's a paper that I can't recall. What is this-

"Here you go girls!" My aunt Gail burst the door open, crashing my smooth way of thinking in a snap. "I brought you something refreshing, here." She handed the glass to Aly and then another to me.

"Thank you." Aly, as the mannerly person she is, was about to stand up but Gail either way, wouldn't let that happen. She blocked her with the tray pushed right in front of her face. What the hell? I lowered the thing away from Aly's dumbfounded expression cause dude! Who's being impolite here?

"Oh don't mind me, I'm gone now." Aunt backed away and disappeared within the closed door. I sometimes don't get that woman.

"So you were saying." Aly fixed herself better to be facing me through our conversation and I took a few steps back in my mind to- where was I? Oh yeah, Jake!

"He helped me move in here." I restarted. "Without him I wouldn't have my motorcycle here. Without aunt I wouldn't even be here now because she's voluntarily paying for my living."

"That is really nice of her, especially that she's your aunt." Exactly, an aunt... better than own mother, what does that say about us?

"Your dad seems nice too." Aly as well should be contained in the talks, enough about me.

"No?" She declined, highing up her tone. "He's a stiff." Aren't all the parents icebergs to their children?

"He was nice to me?" I tried one more time.

"He's nice to everyone with just a few exceptions." Aly looked away and lowered her sight, as that cold, lonely, empty even feeling radiated through the air.

"So is my mom." I mumbled under my breath, reminiscing how this feeling was originally born in my veins. "So I didn't imagine myself that tension between you two?" I turned back to her and she seemed away with her mind too.

"No." Her bottom lip disappeared, sucked in between her teeth as she was delaying second part of an answer. "Things aren't the way they used be anymore." Aly sighed and angled her sight in my direction. There was another story coming and till now I could already tell, with that look in her eyes, that it was going to be one of those dark and heavy. "Remember how I told you about that- rumor that happened back in my high school."

"Yes." Turning her sexuality inside out.

"After Ricky passed away- I couldn't find a strength I guess, to go back to school... so I missed a week or so." After such a disaster, I'm stunned just a week. "The school was not aware why I'm absent so they sent a psychologist to my house, thinking that the issue is-"

"In that rumor." I finished, adding up the last puzzles together. A dramatic slow motion nods followed by and she finally decided to confirm my conclusion.

"In that rumor." Her expression became somewhat guilty and helpless as the past came coming back to her. "My parents had no idea neither about the rumor nor about the truth. They asked me, why I didn't clear it up, why- I didn't deny it." Though it was carrying so many different emotions, she still remained calm. "I decided to come clean. I told them that I am gay cause there was no reason to hide it anymore... and I was too weak to keep covering it up." Aly chuckled sarcastically then, I think, confusing me slightly. "I became a broken toy to them, like if I was an alien of some sort. They were- are ashamed of it. Now beside AJ, who probably doesn't even give a shit, no one accepts it. My dad is keeping his distance while my mom on the other hand pulls the ignoring tactic on me ever since." My face fell, fell like an avalanche of the highest mountain. She is all alone with herself but still strong enough to let in a smile on her face? I admire her. I myself with a shitty life, can't find that thing to keep me going.

"I know how it feels to be unwanted." I whispered, hoping that if I start, somehow, I'll be able to go on... and maybe, hopefully will find that sharing thing relieving at the end.

"You do?" Aly swallowed and waited through the pause for me to continue. Until now I've been trying to deny the story, to live pretending it didn't happen.

"Last time I saw my mom, she told me how she only had me, to get a child benefits for raising me as a single parent, how profitable I was relatively to her not so solid job." I kept my eyes low because that truth was very painful. Whole my life I thought it was an artistic soul thing, that she was avoiding me, that she didn't show me any care. Now it is all in pieces, my vision of love, crashed on the ground, slowly being covered with dust as no one is trying to put it back together. "When I turned 16 and got the scholarship, she lost that funding and ever since lets me know what I mean to her." I travelled my eyes, hidden under my lashes, back to that thing Aly was holding whole this time, realizing what that must be. I reached for it, carefully diving my fingers in between her palms and to my eyes appeared that picture. "That day me and AJ was caught by cops, I took my father's bike and ran away from her." A mugshot of me. In a black tank top, with a damp hair, standing against those inch scales. So much fear and stress that cost me. I clenched my jaw tightly as I closed my eyes shut. "She flew here to rub in how unfaithful I am, how I stood her up getting to that school. How I easily get everything." Aly slid her hand into mine, seeing that obvious pain on my face, showing me compassion. "My entire life I had nothing. I never heard I love you as a child." And I now know why. She never loved me. I interlocked my fingers with hers to load that strength she was sending me, to be able to finish the toughest part... because there was something more to say. "I lost my nerve and said things too, then- she hit me in the face." That's it, the secret has been revealed. "That cop I attacked, he said that the parenting skills should be based on physical punishments. That, getting to our skin would teach a lesson spoiled brats like us." I finished, nervously playing with Aly's fingers. Her hands are always so warm and that protective feeling they create when you're being held by them.

"I didn't know that." I looked up at her as she whispered, concern filling her eyes to the edges.

"And you didn't judge me either."

"Everyone deserves to be listened first." That's what it feels like... understanding and lossless care. It's so easy to share things with her because she's so open minded. My frown turned upside down and I knew what had to be said as well.

"Just like everyone deserves to be accepted, no matter what the circumstances are." Her lip line broke into a soft smirk as the grip around my palm grew stronger.

"Exactly." We connect so well it charges me up with so much positivity. I finally have a truly needed friend with whom I share so much already. Aly cleared her throat, making a space for another thing to be over talked. "That bike- it must mean a lot to you." That perceptiveness, she truly follows along the story.

"It really does, it's the only thing I have of my father. Not even a single memory... just this thing."

"What about him." My father? That's a good question. I myself tend to internally ask that every once in awhile.

"Ever since I remember, I was told that he never existed in our lives. I don't know what happened. Not a thing. If he died or..." I stepped deeper into my memory but no more detail has been found there. "Gail's his sister and she said he disappeared, crawled into some hole I guess." When to come to think about it. "There are no photos, no personal stuff... A total abstraction." I furrowed my brows finding it suspicious. Someone has to know something at least-

"Hey Munroe. Why ar- oh?" A rumbling, annoying and also scary noise of Jake's came crushing yet another conversation me and Aly had as he kicked the door open. "Okay? Am I disturbing you two?" That smug smirk drew its features on his face as I experienced a déjà vu feeling. Me and Aly looked back at each other, asking one another what the hell does that-... and just then I realized our hands were still intertwined. Within a flash we moved them away and he chuckled pretty amused. "When you're done with- whatever that you're doing, come see me." He joked, in a meantime waving a hi towards Aly, before he totally disappeared in the hallway.

"Again?" I choked out, embraced with myself and the meaning of the scene he might have come up with. A terribly shameful state of mind. Aly looked away, as she was remarkably tight lip, presenting that whole enigmatic Mona Lisa smile. "What the hell?" I giggled, nudging her arm as I was now a victim of them two enjoying some private jokes about me.

"That was epic!" She cracked, making me laugh eventually but little did I know what she really had in mind?

"How the practice went?" I stepped into the living room with Aly following me behind.

"What practice?" I sneered at Jake's weird question, not finding it funny though he still remained all smugly.

"For the Romeo and Juliet play- or rather Juliet and Juliet?" He marked dramatically and I forced a pillow right into his face. He never gets bored with these old jerky joke.

"That's Jake, the asshole of this family." I informed flippantly, carelessly passing him by.

"I can better introduce myself." He sent me the attitude and walked into Aly's way. "Hello, I'm Jake, nice to meet you." The cheap trick that never works.

"Alyson, just. Alyson." I partially exploded aloud, amused by the situation as she didn't even go with a shortcut. Well played.

"Don't you think she's a little too young for you?" I rested my hand on his arm, sticking my bottom lip outwards in an apologetic pout. He is so lame.

"Let anything but you decide about it." Oh really? Watch me.

"Aly, do you find his unshaved, animalistic features attractive to you?" I attempted to joke to lighten the mood so I transferred to her side.

"Nah, not my type of a person." She turned to me and I nodded understandingly.

"Just like I thought." His so long going smirk faded as he became a loser of his very own game. "Look it is nothing personal but-" I fake-comfortingly tapped his shoulder, putting that wolfish mask on. "You're not on every women's wish list." I left him to his jaw dropped self as I walked Aly to the door.

"You're funny." Aly mentioned to my let's-burn-Jake's-nose prank we both just had and got me a little confused. Is she being sarcastic?

"You're not laughing." One corner of her lips lifted up, turning into that set smile no one understands.

"But I enjoy it." She then pressed her cheek against mine and placed a soft, almost impalpable kiss there... "Till the next time." She whispered, leaving me all blown away with what just happened. That kiss... It was like a butterfly landed on my face. I closed the door next, still speechless.

I think there's this time when you either have to own to something firmly or deny it finally. I might have to admit to that one small thing by now... that- I have a little flame for Aly.


	4. Chapter 4

I was facing the door, nervously tapping my foot. Put yourself together and open these door Sonny! My inner me screamed, echoing through the emptiness in my head. Okay, okay... here we go. I placed my hand on a round handle and- Wait! whoever that is, I better change my mood visibilities. Whoever that is, the first impression counts anyway. I plastered a weak yet present smile on my face and opened the door wide.

"You?" I heard, balling my eyes out in disbelief as well.

"You?" Him? Not him!

"Yes me!" He narrowed his eyes clearly offended.

"Ugh!" I growled irritated and flew the door back shut, not in a mood for this kind of situation. A situation that even slightly involves Chad.

"Well good morning to you too." and yet he always whistles his way in.

"What do you want?" I snapped, watching him slowly enter my room without permission.

"You should get out from under your rock you know." Chad, a tall, handsome, blonde haired jerk. A celebrity of this school who enjoys pushing my buttons every now and then. Me and him stays in an argument since whenever I found out his actual way of being.

"Your point?" I sneered, mentioning back to the door as he found his way to my bed instead.

"Be nicer!" What the hell?

"What do you want, again!" I repeated, trying not to lose my cool. He scanned me up and down as I was still standing in between the boxes, somewhere in the center of the room.

"I wanted to say hello to a new neighbor but now? I think I'm gonna pass." He stood up and dramatically rolled his crystal blue eyes at me. That I think must be some kind of prank they are pulling on me.

"You live here?" Jaw dropped, dumbfounded and pissed to no end I managed to mumble out loud. Chad smiled adorably, proudly even as he then gestured some direction.

"Right the opposite." Right. the... I zooned out remembering how I first heard these words from him, how this whole mess really started...

* * *

 _"Hey, uhm excuse me? Do you know where do they run music classes for juniors?" I catched a random passerby in hurry as I was helplessly wandering through the campus. "I'm so lost in here." I put my eyes back into that map, finding nothing familiar, again._

 _"You're new right?" He smiled, gesturing to the paper. I sighed resigned and handed it back to the stranger._

 _"I am." This place is like a separate town! There's no way I'll find myself in all those classes on time! I knitted my brows nervously, looking at how he was learning my schedule. "I'm Sonny by the way."_

 _"Chad." He then glanced over at me through his lashes, sending me a polite smile."Nice to meet you Sonny." His eyes were a light shade of blue color and he was really handsome. I flickered my sight up and down his face as he still kept watching me._

 _"So? About that question?" I raised a remainder, growing a bit awkward under his gaze._

 _"Yeah. Come on I'll show you. I have classes around there anyways." Chad folded the paper into a smaller piece and returned it back to me._

 _"Far? I hope it's not a problem."_ _I followed after him as he didn't wait any longer._ _I really don't wanna bother anyone and make myself enemies on the first day if they get late because of me. Chad shook his head, totally not annoyed with me as he proceeded to hold that cute smile still on._

 _"Right the opposite."_

 _"So your major is music?" I turned my attention back at Chad as I was trying to remember the whole, twisting path to my main destination._

 _"Yeah." I was directing myself entirely different way before. How the hell did I look at that map?_

 _"Sing? Play? Both maybe?" He on the other hand seemed very helpful and friendly even._

 _"Uhm a little bit of both worlds. I wanna get better so I try myself here."_

 _"Are you setting up for money-and-fame zone or is it just a passion?" Oh I guess there's this two types of people here. I didn't really expect that but obviously, it's the best school on this side of a country and you gotta start somewhere._

 _"No, I don't see myself as an entertainer. I just find that powerful bonding thing in music, do you know what I mean?" We stepped into the stairs of the building I was looking for and my brain got a little distracted._

 _"Not exactly." Chad sent me an expression that said explain better and I doubled my thinking._

 _"Music is universal language, regardless of who speaks it." I gave my yet best answer, trying to sound a bit original too._

 _"Right." He hang his sight on mine as he opened the door for us, letting me in first. Why is he looking at me like that, do I have something on my face?_

 _"So what's your major?" I pushed me as a topic away just so I could stop talking. I'm not a really good interlocutor._

 _"Acting. The love of my life." He said proudly, gazing somewhere far_ _in_ _to the space. "I'll be reaching high one day." Is he giving some sort of a presidential_ _speech_ _as we walk?_

 _"Big ambitions." I summed, reading him carefully._

 _"That's a certainty." As dramatic as it was, I was creeped with a real emotion there. I bet he's great with what he is doing. "Here's your classroom. I'll be heading off now." Chad took a short walk backwards, as I was given that adorable grin of his again._

 _"Okay, thanks!" I waved my hand through the air, marking my gratitude._

 _"See ya." I extra heard before walking in to the lecture hall_ _where_ _I was thankfully on time._

* * *

"Why are you stalking me?" I glanced over my shoulder finding his presence close to my back.

"Because you are very stalkable."

"You bring bad news!" I spat unpacking my awaiting boxes as Chad leaned himself against the wall, observing me constantly.

"Do I?" Ugh not right now! I beg every single power above us all!

"Yes!" I straightened myself up, turned to him and put my best scowled face look on as I didn't even have to try that much to mark my point. "And the way you just said that, do I? Like I'm naive? It's very passive aggressive." I watched that sly smirk to slowly appear along his lip line, knowing just then, he was enjoying every aspect of my frustration.

"Is it?" The calm way he said this just made me angrier. Oh I'm so close...

* * *

 _I stepped into a enormous canteen as the amount of people blinded me. Holy hell, a lot of them! So the movies show that intimidating reality anyways. I swallowed a nervous lump out of my throat and made my way to the line. It took me almost ten minutes to get my food and gladly I was on an hour break. Enough time to localize another classes, hopefully. I took a slow walk around, learning those groups exist everywhere. No need to describe it more as every one of us had a chance to see that either in TV or life itself. I have noticed that the older, college students were also dining here. How_ _bizarre_ _. So where do I sit. Where do I see a free spot? I looked around the place and not far from where I was, I spotted an almost empty table. By the table a person that already was familiar to my eyes._

 _"Hey again, may I?" I announced myself enthusiastically, taking a seat next to that blonde boy I met in the morning. "You seem really popular around. I've heard a couple of people almost fangirl about you in my classes." I attempted to lighten his so focused self with an interesting fact that I learnt. He only glanced my way, not changing a line over his pretty face as he still remained busy with his fancy phone._

 _"Hey Chad." I looked up finding some other people taking their seats around that table._

 _"Hey bro! what's up."_ _Two model looking guys that choose to sit next to Chad and three perfect girls in front of us all. They greeted and chatted while fixing themselves in their chairs_ _._ _Guys between each other as well as girls, pretty loudly until single stares started my direction..._ _more and more distracted by my presence._

 _"...and you are?" The prettiest brunette eventually sent her attention towards my person,_ _that way_ _holding_ _up_ _all the talks._

 _"Hi, I'm Sonny." I decided to introduce myself. These are Chad's friends so I want to be nice to them too._

 _"Hi, Sonny, pretty name. I'm Penelope." She smiled, becoming totally absorbed with me the next second._

 _"I'm Alexis." The blonde girl squeezed in but the brunette ignored her existence. I briefly furrowed my brows, whispering another Hi back._

 _"You seem new, that lost look in your eyes says it all."_

 _"Like abandoned dog." Third girl added with a dreamy look on her face and I kept observing, listening to each word they were saying. Do I really look so fresh in here?_

 _"Shush it Chloe. So am I right?" Penelope growled at her, turning back to me afterwards. Is she some sort of a queen in this jungle?_

 _"Yeah I just got here. This is my first day."_

 _"How do you like it in here?" She wasn't seeing anyone in the zone, but me, holding a curious smile on her face. Either way I was still aware the others were listening as well. Well everyone beside Chad who had his nose glued to the screen whole this time. What is with him?_

 _"It's very extraordinary."_

 _"Extra what?" Brunette Chloe who looked the least smartest just proved it to the world as she side tilted her head with a questioning expression written all over her face._

 _"What did I tell you?" Whoa! That leader has claws! "What's your major Sonny?" And wears masks too._

 _"Uhm music."_

* * *

"Don't you have something else to do? You know, somewhere else?" I whined as Chad proceeded to inspect my personal stuff with his jerky hands.

"I'm only trying to be a good friend here." He exclaimed, barely listening to what's really in between my words.

"We are not friends." I yanked yet another thing out of his fingers as he kept pushing me to the edge of my nerves.

"I believe we are. You're on top of my friends list Sonny." He presented another theatrical shape, not bothering to even pay some attention to what I've just been repeating on and on. Is he that dumb? I could've sworn he wasn't.

"Yet somehow, you always tend to blow smoke in front of your friends to cover it up."…

* * *

 _"Are you from around?" I received another question my way as the, so called interview went on._

 _"No I'm from Wisconsin."_

 _"Oh what your parents do? Do they make cheese?" Alexis, that's her name right? She- what? I narrowed my eyes with somewhat confusion as I couldn't comprehend her way of thinking._

 _"Yeah they're like known from cheese only, I don't know any_ _musicians_ _from there." One of those models raised his voice and I thought, do they only have pretty faces? Where are the brains!_

 _"No, no my mom's a painter." I corrected their ridiculous idea about how Wisconsin is a cheese factory, trying to mainly focus with Penelope. She doesn't seem brainless._

 _"Oh-lala an artistic family. What does she paint?" I opened my mouth ready to explain but was rudely interrupted, again._

 _"Probably flash." What? I snapped my head wherever that comment was created._

 _"What's flash?" Chloe shared more of the emptiness in her head but that's not the thing right now. My eyes started flickering between those_ _faces_ _as they kept going._

 _"Naked people." Alexis giggled, forcing a_ _crowd_ _loud debate to take over control and I had no word in this anymore._

 _"Ew that's pornography. That's gross." Chloe frowned, enlightened with what wasn't the truth about my mother and still I couldn't push through._

 _"I-" those smirks._

 _"Chad where the hell did you find her?" One of the males spoke up, eventually waking Chad from his phone._

 _"Hmm? Oh her?" He turned to me as I was slowly burning_ _embraced_ _from the inside. Can he help me fix that? "I didn't even realize she was still here. She follows me everywhere, probably a fan." What did my brain just registered? That kind of non caring way. My eyes widened as my jaw dropped. He did not just do that. I stood up... What a double faced asshole!... turned around and stormed out, hearing how the background kept laughing, with him at the top. "What did I say?"_

* * *

"So we're the only two people in here without a second roommate." By now, I decided to ignore him while I focused myself on cleaning up the mess. I became motivated, just so I wouldn't have to pay attention to him.

"Yet."

"It makes us the winners, top of the toppest. And as we all know, winners make the rules and losers live with it" Chad then followed behind me and put his arm around my shoulders. Oh enough is enough. "What do you say we celebrate that sometimes?" I walked him back to the door as he obediently kept himself hooked to me. I then unattached his hand away and pushed him outside my room,

"Whatever." shutting the door afterwards.

I was waiting with these words for the possible end of the world but what am I loosing... Crap I'm done!


End file.
